Post by taystl on Nov 8, 2019 0:03:21 GMT -6
So I'm typing out this confessional because I feel like my thoughts are never together when I do one by video, and I want to go into detail about everything I know up until now and where my head is at moving forward.
Ideal boot order/list of priorities:
Josh
Ricky
Aubra
Jordan
Mojo
Danny
Jake
Bailey
Knight
Me duh
So essentially Josh needs to go this round because he's been in everyones ears trying to paint me as a big target. I don't think he has any interest in working with me longterm, and is overall the biggest threat to my safety ATM. The problem is that Knight wants Jordan out this round bad, but Jordan (at least I believe) will not be writing my name down anytime soon... so theres a huge conflict of interest. I'll just have to continue to push for what I want without stepping on people's toes. Shouldn't be too difficult, unless some crazy shit goes on like last round. But either way I'll find out about it because people tell me way too much.
Superlatives confirmed that indeed everyone in the game thinks i'm running shit. I got quite possibly the worst ones, along with some fun ones but like... lol fuck. The only reason I'm not too worried about everything is because of my alliance with Knight.
I'm sure y'all are conspiring about how the fuck I got him to choose me over the bros, and honestly I am too lmao. But him and I just bond over shit beyond the game, we have very similar interests and passions in life so conversations go beyond the game and a personal friendship has formed. Those kind of things are far more important to me than any cash prize, and it's honestly been great getting to know him so working with him has been so beneficial for the both of us. He tells me everything the bros want, and keep me in the loop with mojo and now Aubra. I keep Jordan, Bailey and Jake in check and tell Knight everything regarding them. So if I didn't have this alliance with Knight, i'd be terrified for my position In the game, but I know that these people will never be able to come after me without Knight. Y'all are probably like how the fuck do you know Knight will never turn on you, and honestly I don't. But the good person inside of me has faith that he wouldn't do me dirty, and if thats my downfall in the game then so be it. I'll just cry for days and then jump off a cliff lmao.
Ricky has been god damn pissing me off. When I saw he was cast my immediate reaction was like oh my fucking god this is awesome, this will be our game. But Rickys done some really shitty stuff on a personal level for me in this game that its making it super impossible for me to want to work with him. Obviously last round I was upset with Jordan for trying to make a stupid move when he didn't have the votes, and then lying to me all round. So I vented to Ricky as a friend obviously in the heat of the moment saying things I didn't truly mean, but I was pissed and I can't control my mouth sometimes. Anyways Ricky ran back to Jordan and told him I was talking specific negative things about him and had Jordan so upset because Jordan and I's friendship go beyond the game as well, and I know that hurt him to hear. So at this point I want Ricky out, he needs to go after josh. He's no longer a shield for me in the game, but rather a liability.
I want to see Aubra go after Ricky for the sole reason that I think she has idols. And the only way I go out at this point is if someone idols me out. She hasn't really made the effort to include me in on things, which is completely fair since we met at the merge. It doesn't bother me, I just don't see how she is any benefit for my game moving forward. Obviously i've been telling her I want to see the five (me her mojo jordan and bailey) progress far in the game, but i'm honestly only saying it to stay off her radar.
The reason I have Jordan next on the list is honestly only to appease Knight. I sense he's getting frustrated with how well I'm playing, and because I know his trust with me will never waiver and he will choose me over anyone, I have to start letting go some people that are closer to me. Jordans been a loyal soldier for me, besides the last round where he lied to me all day, I still know he will never write my name down. I love the guy to death, he will be a great friend of mine after the game but my priority will always and forever be Knight, so this is a sacrifice I'm willing to make to keep him happy.
Mojo is another non factor to me, he can kind of go at any place and it wouldn't really effect my game. I know he has other priorities other than me. I'm maybe 4-5 on his list of priorities so I don't really feel the need in investing time into that relationship. Do I think he's fucking amazing absolutely, but I cant work with everyone.
Danny to everyone is seen as a Ricky follower, and I know he has undying loyalty to knight. To me Danny could go at any placement because I know knight will keep him from voting for me, but would I rather see him go early than later of course. It's just another one of those things that I cant push for because I don't want to put off knight, it's selfish of me to take him out and I don't want to play an overly selfish game.
Jake has mentioned to me that he is giving his game to me, do I believe it honestly I have no idea. I have no reason not to believe it, but the issue with Jake is that he's coming for people like knight. So if I have to cut Lake loose for that reason than I will. But jakes also a perfect person to bring to a final 3 scenario because everyone looks at him as someone that hasn't contributed much to the game. But he trust me so I want to keep him in as long as possible.
Bailey oh my, is probably reading this so upset with me. Last game I played with bailey I cut him at fifth for selfish reasons and here I am again, but this time with someone that I'm more loyal to over him. Bailey if you're reading this I'm sorry. Knight and I's friendship unfortunately just grew so strong back on swap blue, and then only meeting you at the merge, this would have been different if we started together. Bailey will always and forever be the best ally I've ever had in a game ever (aside from him telling charity about my idol). And thats what makes this so hard. I'm going to probably lose a friend by choosing knight over him, unless he magically gets voted out without me knowing.
This game has been absolutely insane. Someone I've managed to snag two idols, knight has a steal a vote that is to be used for our advantage... like how have I been doing this well? I know i'm good at these things so i'm not going to be humble and so oh man I didn't work hard for this because I damn well have put so much into this game Kyle essentially gave me no option of playing or not lol. But it's just a testament to how much I love the game of survivor. Obviously anything can knock me off this high horse of mine, but I almost want something like that to happen. It makes the game tougher for me, and I like a challenge. Even if it does though I have idols to fall back on. I just know I'm better than powers and I want to prove I can play the game like a fucking bad ass and not need to use idols to get me deep in the game. I want to finally be rewarded for good gameplay but i always fucking get fourth or fifth lmao. So I have to be careful while still trying get what I want. Knight asked me today why I don't just chill for a couple rounds and fly a little under the radar, but the answer to that is I literally fucking can't. I'm too invested, too passionate, and too big of a fucking gamer to not be at the forefront pushing everything I want.
So here's to being a fucking bad ass, play on bitches 
- t s motherfucking l
p.s you can't spell slut with tsl don't you forget it bb
- t s motherfucking l
p.s you can't spell slut with tsl don't you forget it bb
